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Sunday, August 31, 2003

 
ugh. so far, one note on people who read this. thanks sash - this one's for you... you rebel you...

ive come to a conclusion
that maybe im not out of place after all
im a yuppie
and a good one at that
preppy, poser, loser -
what have you
call me what you want
at least im true to myself
i dont dress for others... usually
and when i do,
its not for you
so as i apply my yuppie-ness
in the morning like a lotion
i can tell you
i smell like yuppie
i speak preppie
i live... but its true to myself.

i dont wear black because my friends do
i wear orange because it looks good on me...
or so i thought...
lately, ive been offended by what people say
of my look
my life
my attitude
well fuck that
because its me
and im being real
im not dying my hair magenta for attention
im leaving it the color that it is
because its mine
and you cant have it
or bottle it... for that matter

so in the end, im not a poser
im who i want to be
so if you want to offend me
give it your best shot
because im not insecure about myself
and you shouldn't be either
so lay off fuck head
because school starts in 3 days
and when it does
if you dont want me
ill just go back to my old friends
because with them
i am comfortable being a yuppie

and im fucking good at it.



ooh. that was angry. go me.
so sasha, since you are the only one who reads this, i should let you know, the poser thing - it actually happens. oh, by the way, i got my seattle picture back... the one of us at emp is cute.
muahahhahah... yeah im a poser - strangers keep asking me if my jacket is actually from denmark... seriously...

cruel cruel world, my mom is the best and you cant have her because she's mine.

~*N*~



Wednesday, August 27, 2003

 
ugh. some people really know how to ruin an evening.
does anybody fucking read this? jesus, drop me a line if you do - if i get no lines, i might as well take it out of my profile - it takes a lot of room... yarg.
so once again, i am in... eh... a crevace? ive got one way out, but many places to go afterwards. for example, once i am out, i can go up, left, right, or even if i want, back into the crevace. "why go back in the crevace?" you may ask, well, the answer is simple. because i like it there. its snug and i dont have to worry about other people bugging the hell out of me there...
yay! i am going to see ben on friday! woot!
anyway, um... lemme see.... oh yes... new song of the day - i tried to get one on yesterday, but it didnt work - my computer freaked out and i had to run a virus check...
here it is cruel cruel world:

The Scientist - Coldplay

Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start


~*N*~



Tuesday, August 26, 2003

 
in the immortal words of christopher walken: "WOWWIE WOW WOW WOW!"
for my 16th birthday, my mom is taking me to LA for the weekend!!!!!! YAYYY! we're gonna go visit USC, CHAPMAN (YAY BEN!), The hollywood bowl (we're gonna see a concert by the guy who wrote the star wars theme - apparently darth vader (the voice at least - the black guy) is the narrator for the concert!), the museum of neon art, a historic theater tour, the museum of historical hollywood, AND, last but not least, I GET TO SEE THE PRODUCERS! WITH MARTIN SHORT (MY HERO!) and JASON ALEXANDER! WOOOOT!
right now, i am trying to talk my mom into going to tea at the beverly hills hotel so i can see ozzy osbourne! hahahhaha... maaannn... i am so psyched! i leave wednesday night, and get back sunday - with just enough time to hang out with people before school starts... which i definetly intend on doing... woooot!
i heart you all!
youre not so cruel, are you cruel cruel world?
~*N*~



Monday, August 25, 2003

 
So I'm working, and I have a lot going through my head. My friends are all going in different directions, i have 2 quazi romance situations, and I am just feeling... so... i dont know... bland? My life is one big shmorgazborg (sp?) and its getting awfully... fruity.
My internet at home is down until tuesday or so - the motem croaked. And it seems as if I am not getting my sister's old computer quite yet - my mom doesnt think i can handle the responsibility... oh well... ill probably get it mid-semester.
I am a terribly insecure person, and this song is really the way i have functioned over the last few years. "If you change your mind come monday / and turn your back on me / you'll take your steps away with hesitence / you'll take your steps away from me." I can never know when people will just change their mind about me one day, and send me off into seclusion ("GET THE TO A NNNNUNNERY!") There's only so much i can do. So i am placing the song, that is my life, into my blog. (I must say that Jimmy Eat World's CD was my life last time i was having my 2 week zen moment in hawaii. Seclusion does worlds of good for a person - you should try it sometime.)
I am also dealing with a situation I am not quite sure. A friend did to me, what I am tempted to do to another - and I feel as if it is morally wrong, even though i would find it awfully satisfying. (for all of you who know, i dont think i am going to do anything.) I have too much on my plate right now - which isnt necessarily a bad thing - but can become a problem. I am so thankful for what I still have. Maybe tomorrow, i should have "too much food" jason mraz style. That is my other state of mind.
shit. break is over. well... okay... this is the song:


Jimmy Eat World - Cautioners

The time I would spend
With pictures I would not send

I watched you go from left to right
I followed you all...night
Across my blinds

You'll change your mind
Come Monday
And turn your back on me
Take your steps away
With hesitance
Take your steps away from me

I'm making my peace
And making it with distance

But maybe that's a big mistake
You know I'm thinking of you
I miss you

You'll change your mind
Come Monday
And turn your back on me
Take your steps away
With hesitance
Take your steps away from me


Is there a camp reuinion in October? if so, i need to mentally prepare myself - somebody fill me in plz...

Take you steps away with hesitence cruel, cruel world...
~*N*~



Saturday, August 23, 2003

 
I have decided writing in addition to song lyrics is probably the way to go with this journal. maybe a discription as to why i have used the song. people cant figure me out if i dont write on this page... apparently.
Last night was odd. Galen asked why i was hanging out with everyone - because i am a yuppie. I am not mad at galen or iKnow im a yuppie- and often, i ask myself the same question. i know he was kidding, but hearing what i feared from someone else kind of makes it hit home. i dont really get why i hang out with you guys if im so out of place. i used to have other friends, but i kind of stopped hanging out with them because you guys were cooler and nicer to me. so i dont understand - do i need to go back to that? because it seems as if im somewhere where i really dont belong. its obvious that im not as "cool" as everyone else. so ill just excuse my prude self from every awkward situation so i dont embarass you anymore. i appologize for any difficulties.
and for awhile, i was really looking forward to the school year...
anything. so fuck it cruel cruel world.


~*N*~

(for the ride home babe...)

You paint a picture on the wall
Cause you've got a lot to tell me
but you don't think you could say it better oh baby

You're bringing up times I can't recall
And I'm sure they made your point
but I just can't seem to remember yeah

And I know you got the feeling
and I can't say I'm agreeing
with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
and the handset I've been giving
to the thoughts of my imagination

So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
that you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will

Cause I saw you walking down the hall
and I had a lot to tell you
but I didn't think you could say it better oh baby

You're good at makin me feel so small
and I know you made your point
but I just don't want to remember yeah

and I know you've got the feelin
and I cant say I'm agreein with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons
and the hints that I've been given
to the thoughts of my imagination
So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
that you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will

Cause I'm dancing around
in your world of play
I'm takin my time to make sure you stay
I would give my life to make it okay yeah

So come on let me see
I say baby you are amazing
I want to let you see
that you are everything and more to me
I will let you be I will I will





Friday, August 22, 2003

 
Don't hold yourself like that
You'll hurt your knees
I kissed your mouth and back
But that's all I need
Don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down

What I am to you is not real
What I am to you you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea

Don't throw yourself like that
In front of me
I kissed your mouth your back
Is that all you need?
Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down

What I am to you is not real
What I am to you you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for what I give to you
Is just what i'm going through
This is nothing new
No no just another phase of finding what I really need
Is what makes me bleed
And like a new disease she's still too young to treat
Volcanoes melt me down
She's still too young
I kissed your mouth
You do not need me



god, i want you cruel, cruel, world...
~*N*~



Thursday, August 21, 2003

 
I miss you.


You come from far away
With pictures in your eyes
Of coffeeshops and morning streets
In the blue and silent sunrise
But night is the cathedral
Where we recognized the sign
We strangers know each other now
As part of the whole design


Oh, hold me like a baby
That will not fall asleep
Curl me up inside you
And let me hear you through the heat


You are the jester of this courtyard
With a smile like a girl's
Distracted by the women
With the dimples and the curls
By the pretty and the mischievous
By the timid and the blessed
By the blowing skirts of ladies
Who promise to gather you to their breast


Oh, hold me like a baby
That will not fall asleep
Curl me up inside you
And let me feel you through the heat


You have hands of raining water
And that earring in your ear
The wisdom on your face
Denies the number of your years
With the fingers of the potter
And the laughing tale of the fool
The arranger of disorder
With your strange and simple rules
Yes now I've met me another spinner
Of strange and gauzy threads
With a long and slender body
And a bump upon the head


Oh, hold me like a baby
That will not fall asleep
Curl me up inside you
and let me hear you through the heat


With a long and slender body
And the sweetest softest hands
And we'll blow away forever soon
And go on to different lands
And please do not ever look for me
But with me you will stay
And you will hear yourself in song
Blowing by one day


Oh, hold me like a baby
That will not fall asleep
Curl me up inside you
And let me hear you through the heat

I am envious of you cruel, cruel, world...


~*N*~



Wednesday, August 20, 2003

 
Look at this big - eyed fish swimming in the sea oh
How it dreams to be a bird swoop and diving through the breeze
So one day caught a big old wave up on to the beach
Now he�s dead you see beneath the sea is where a fish should be

But oh God
Under the weight of life
Things seem brighter on the other side

You see this crazy man decided not to breathe
He turned red and blue - purple, colorful indeed
No matter how his friends begged and pleaded the man would not concede
And now he�s dead you see the silly man should know you got to breathe

But oh God
Under the weight of life
Things seem brighter on the other side

Oh God
Under the weight of life
Things seem so much better on the other side

No way, no way
No way out of here

You see the little monkey sitting up in his monkey tree
One day decided to climb down and run off to the city
But look at him now lost tired living in the street
As good as dead you see what a monkey does - stay up your tree

But oh God
Under the weight of life
Things seem brighter on the other side

Oh God
Under the weight of life
Things seem so much better on the other side

No way, no way, no way
No way out of here

Rain in my dreams

Fall away



Do not die on me cruel, cruel world.
~*N*~



Tuesday, August 19, 2003

 
ive decided to stop writing actual comments on this webjournal, and express myself through song! so here's the first one for the road, kiddies!

Suzanne Vega - The Queen and the Soldier

The soldier came knocking upon the queen's door
He said, "I am not fighting for you any more"
The queen knew she'd seen his face someplace before
And slowly she let him inside.

He said, "I've watched your palace up here on the hill
And I've wondered who's the woman for whom we all kill
But I am leaving tomorrow and you can do what you will
Only first I am asking you why."

Down in the long narrow hall he was led
Into her rooms with her tapestries red
And she never once took the crown from her head
She asked him there to sit down.

He said, "I see you now, and you are so very young
But I've seen more battles lost than I have battles won
And I've got this intuition, says it's all for your fun
And now will you tell me why?"

The young queen, she fixed him with an arrogant eye
She said, "You won't understand, and you may as well not try"
But her face was a child's, and he thought she would cry
But she closed herself up like a fan.

And she said, "I've swallowed a secret burning thread
It cuts me inside, and often I've bled"
He laid his hand then on top of her head
And he bowed her down to the ground.

"Tell me how hungry are you? How weak you must feel
As you are living here alone, and you are never revealed
But I won't march again on your battlefield"
And he took her to the window to see.

And the sun, it was gold, though the sky, it was gray
And she wanted more than she ever could say
But she knew how it frightened her, and she turned away
And would not look at his face again.

And he said, "I want to live as an honest man
To get all I deserve and to give all I can
And to love a young woman who I don't understand
Your highness, your ways are very strange."

But the crown, it had fallen, and she thought she would break
And she stood there, ashamed of the way her heart ached
She took him to the doorstep and she asked him to wait
She would only be a moment inside.

Out in the distance her order was heard
And the soldier was killed, still waiting for her word
And while the queen went on strangeling in the solitude she preferred
The battle continued on


that should be a lesson to you cruel cruel world...
~*N*~



Monday, August 18, 2003

 
so fuck my brains out if this is is whats left of my online journal. its become a sad outlet of my sadness, frustration, and anger. dont knock it until you've put your all into it.

The office is boring... and right now... kind of blurry.

Im sorry KK.

I think im done working on this journal. I should get a better vice... like ice cream... or cocaine...

fuck it cruel cruel world.
~*N*~



Thursday, August 14, 2003

 
I feel like the biggest disfunctional fuck up this side of the Cascades. Jason Crisp, man, Jason Crisp.

Lately I'm not sure if im living, or dreaming. My life just seems to circulate through this garbage disposal of this sad thing i call life. This depressing "online journal", or lack thereof, is becoming my latest hellhole for which i dwell in. It is more of one extensive freewrite and I can't focus on any topic at hand.

John Lennon died December 8th.

This movie I'm watching sucks. Valentine - don't watch it. it sucks.
Jason likes you dress...

Im sick of boys. Lauren is going to find me a good one thats worth my time. As i went through the list of "possibilities" we realize, she has a good one, and i have none. what is the world comming to? where is my "good one"? (and ill shoot any fucker who says washington.)

"So kiss me hard 'cause this will be the last time that I let you. You will be back someday and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to keeping you away."
-Dashboard Confessional.

so i love you, crue,l cruel, curious world.
~*N*~



Wednesday, August 13, 2003

 
How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to funkin' tread the ground I'm walking on

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control

Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause its getting harder and harder to breathe



yeah. what up beeyoch.

so ill bitch slap you cruel cruel world.
~*N*~



Tuesday, August 12, 2003

 
adia i do believe ive failed you...

i dont know what i want anymore. I just dont know. every day that passes, i realize what a fucked up bitch i am and how i cant really determine whats real and whats fake with my personality anymore - which i weird, because usually i can work through stuff like this. but im in a hole again - a deep dark hole, and im ready to curl up and die.

another day, another dollar - thats not going into my pocket. its just going into my bank account to pay for college. and i cant even take it out without my mom present, because she co-signed on my "minor" account. jason crisp, let me deal with my own damn money and spend it on whatever the fuck i want.
i want to buy concert tickets. and rock out. i wish i could have gone to the gorge. i would have rather gone to the gorge with my sister than see a play in ashland any day. family vacations suck balls. sister excursions rule.
it'll suck - she leaves the 21st.

so i love you cruel cruel world?
~*N*~



Monday, August 11, 2003

 
So today, I went back to work. *watches everyone roll their eyes* BUT GUESS WHAT! I GOT PAID! WOOOOOOOOOOOOT! i am so thrilled with myself. There is nothing like holding a check in your hands, knowing that you worked yourself crazy to get it. (note: the craziness was caused by the sharpie fumes...) I feel like spending money tho... ill just spend my parents money on birthday stuff... for now...
Oh love, It is a brittle madness, i sing about it in all my sadness - and thats the truth. The thing that is missing from my life, is having someone close to me (aka, not in another state) who cares about me. well, thats a bit shallow - people care about me... i think... but romantically cares about me. treasures me above others - although that sounds all narsissistic and shit, thats kinda the way it feels... its whats missing. I know i have friends that love me and care about me, but lately, i am aware they have others they hold in their highest regards... wayyyy over me. I haven't been doing a very good job lately keeping myself from the "disposable friend" tendancies.
Is it wrong to go after the following guys?
- one totally out of reach, due to distance
- one so stuck on himself that he admits that he's cocky and thinks its cute
- one who is going to college next year, but has no idea that i have any interest in them
- one who just wants to fuck my brains out and doesnt really care about what i think (what can i say, im a sucker for assholes...)
and finally:
- one who just doesnt want me, and is about an inch shorter

and what sucks, is that they kinda dont fit the "nice guy" sterotype... one is close, but then says stupid things. what is my problem? i think i have a problem with commitment... haha... that was just a joke for lolo, but anyway, i think i have a problem with fickleness/fidelity. I keep changing my mind about people, one minute ill be chasing after them, the next, i wont want to be near them. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG! (the one i really want, doesn't want me at all...)
I feel like im kind of just making myself a little burrow in my insecurities.

I want to be immortalized in a famous piece of poetry.

So i love you cruel cruel world, even though you dont want me, (and i know it.)
~*N*~



Sunday, August 10, 2003

 
Last night was... Tara's going away dinner at big river, and a roaring afterparty chez moi. Dinner was fun. I felt all cute sitting there all dressed up - kinda sad i missed pictures, but hell, it happenes. Ill just pretend I was there. It was fun hanging out at my end of the table. Props to Tata, Lolo, Jermey, Lesley, Julia, Galen and Alex. It was fun guys... but we now all know we cant take me anywhere... The afterparty was... interesting. Let me just say, originally i was not in favor for our version of "two minutes in heaven", but after the first time i had to go in, with Galen, my opinion was swayed. Lets just say, we romped and ended up switching clothes...wait, cancel the romping. what was sad was that he looked good in my clothes... that made me feel... i dont know? who knows... anyone? anyone? Beuler? Second time I went in with Jermey, and had a nice chat... but ooooooh well. The game wasn't so bad after all.
I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time, well, i hope they did. There were a couple things I wish hadn't happened, but too late now, you cant change the past - in the words of the wise Sondre Lerche: "take every chance you've been given." And i guess, at the time i did - and I can't blame other people taking their chances either - c'est la vie! c'est vrai?
tara my dear, I will miss you so. When you return, we will walk to van buren, buy chinese food and Nori, and remember the good times. I love you darling. you will always be my audrey hepburn. (thanks for being my double black diamond first... HAHAHHAHAHAHH OMG!)

so i still love you cruel, cruel, narsissistic world...
~*N*~



Wednesday, August 06, 2003

 
Yarg. I miss you.

So here I am... at work... typing on my dad's computer... wasting his company's money - woot! I am so sick and tired of dealing with insurance companies. Right now, in my mind, they are the slime of the earth - right next to gypsies, tramps, and thieves (LOL!).

Anyway, I have been working my ass off all friggin day. Lolo just called me on my cell phone, and i was listening to music, so i didnt know that she was calling me, until my desk started to vibrate from my cell phone. It was pretty funny - then i had to run outside to talk to her so i wouldnt disturb the rest of the buisness office (2 people got fired the other day, so ive been trying to be careful about stupid stuff... spank me and call me paranoid... harder...)

Murr.. Im tired, I got 10 hours of sleep last night tho. I had to, considering my combined total from the 2 nights before was about 11 hours... i needed to catch up a little. Dave Matthews was totally worth being tired. Katie (sister) and I had so much fun! crazy drunks and stoners all around - everybody had a good time. Occasionally, you'd see a little cloud of smoke come out of nowhere on the floor - how comforting. At the beginning of the show, Dave came out to introduce the opening act, and he walked up to the mic with his drink and said "I'm wearing these pants 'cause they make my legs look big." It was hilarious. Dave rocks even more than before - but Boyd will always be my favorite. There's nothing like a skinny, ripped, tall, black man rockin out on an electric violin. He's my hero. I wish I could have that much fun playing an instrument that is so... eh... nitpicky.

I hope I can go to the girl's night tonight (well, thats what it is so far...) I miss my peoples. I have been a friggin basketcase with all this traveling and work - its not totally a bad thing, because I believe (now) that isolation really gets you in touch with your inner psyche (if youre laughing, shut up. you obviously dont understand...) Im probably more in tune to my emotions than I ever have before - partly because of camp, partly because of Seattle, partly because Ive been meditating. Yes, you read that right, meditating. Meditation is my new form of crying - its wonderful. Since i dont cry anymore, meditation is the best way to release everything that Ive been holding back from the world. Its a brilliant idea. Bhudda(h) was a genious... i swear to god... hahah... thats funny now that i read it...

Alright, so back to work i go. I have a reallly messy room, so pray to jesus/allah/bhuddah/satah/what-have-you that i am able to go out tonight. ill probably end up jamming things in my closet, and claiming my room is clean... im not working tomorrow because i have a haircut at 9, and then i leave for ashland around 11... wheee... early morning... again....

so i love you cruel cruel world...
~*N*~
oh love, it is a bitter madness...

anyone heard of Josh Kelly?



Monday, August 04, 2003

 
wait a tic... that motherfucker is trying to step on my ground. back of beeyoch... you know who you are. leave my musicals alone...

 
Its begining to look a lot like christmas...

For those of you who skip to the end of my profile, to read whatever's on my mind, here's a review. this song is my life... currently, you know how those things are...


Sondre Lerche - You Know So Well

Use every chance you've been given
she replied after several days
It's no good to be perfect
you know so well things are easy to tell
There is one thing I know
it goes like this
It's that when I lose my sleep it's you I miss

I have told you this before
and my transparent mind
won't cover see-through hearts
I'll be straight with you now
Now I'm not what you want
just like the rest
and you feel like you're subject to a test
But if there's one thing I know it's this
When I lose my sleep it's you I miss

You sleep all night
you know you lie awake
Tell me, yeah
And time is running out
and you know so well
it may never be

Use every chance you've been given
she is told, but it doesn't make her smile
She has no need to be perfect
She knows too well
things are easy to tell
I have said what I thought you should know
but you never seem to recognize my face

okay, so the song is written by a guy, but you change the perspective, and it makes perfect sense.
I need to move to seattle. I think I'm not going to go to college right after I graduate, but travel, and get used to living life the way it was meant to be... If you dont understand what i mean by that, you dont deserve to.

as i recoil into my regular joe lifestyle, im begining to realize, maybe i have something others dont. Brian wrote in my journal that i have a quality that "draws people to me". why the fuck havent i noticed it?! Whatever it is, i need to tap that sonofabitch and make the world a better place... sort of.

I want to be immortalized in a famous piece of poetry.

So i love you cruel cruel world, right now, im about to leave for portland, to rock out, with my sister (woot!) to Dave Matthews Band.

Oh, and the official decision on the paycheck spending is as follows: im going to buy an electric guitar. Then, im going to call Nora, and we will start a band. party on. semi-stardom, here i come... eventually... after i get paid damnit...

~*N*~

Baby if you give it to me, ill give it to you, i know what you want, you know ive got it...




Saturday, August 02, 2003

 
Ah, love, lust, and all the layers of clothes, skin and blanket in between - life is intense - isnt it?
So far my weekend in Seattle has been a blast. I arrived Saturday around noon, and headed out to spend some money in downtown Seattle. We promptly did so at Urban Oufitters... a little more than $50 for that matter (STUPID SALES TAX!!!) on this GREAT jacket - it says DENMARK on the back... i am such a pimped out trixta! Sasha bought me aviators today, so now, we're super fly (She bought an iceland jacket - we're friggin pros!)
I miss my K. I hope she is having a good birthday party. I read her online journal, so i know things are... okay... i heart you.
Last night was a hell of a... um... brainstorm? Sasha, Keyan, Me and Andrew spent the night at Andrews... it was fun. We watched High Fidelity, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and Old School. (of course, in order of preference and overall goodnes...) You never really know how great life can be until you fall asleep in someone's arms, espicially someone you care about. Its a curious feeling, like someone cares, but respects that youre human, and can just lay beside you and be completely content.
Ah, life is good.
Actually, love, it is a bitter madness, i sing about it in all my sadness.

Last night, there were a couple "firsts" but nothing big and new... hurray... hemp bracelets and generic shampoo...

Sasha and I snuck into American Pie 3 today... we bought tickets for Pirates of the Caribean, and just walked into the other theater and ate candy for 20 minutes. yeah, we're pros... we thought we were gonna get caught when some staff lady walked it, but she didnt really acknowledge her existance... itwas hilarious. god... life is a friggin bowl of cherries... too bad i forgot to take out the pits... you just wait kids... theres a catch. its called: conscious.





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