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Monday, August 25, 2003

 
So I'm working, and I have a lot going through my head. My friends are all going in different directions, i have 2 quazi romance situations, and I am just feeling... so... i dont know... bland? My life is one big shmorgazborg (sp?) and its getting awfully... fruity.
My internet at home is down until tuesday or so - the motem croaked. And it seems as if I am not getting my sister's old computer quite yet - my mom doesnt think i can handle the responsibility... oh well... ill probably get it mid-semester.
I am a terribly insecure person, and this song is really the way i have functioned over the last few years. "If you change your mind come monday / and turn your back on me / you'll take your steps away with hesitence / you'll take your steps away from me." I can never know when people will just change their mind about me one day, and send me off into seclusion ("GET THE TO A NNNNUNNERY!") There's only so much i can do. So i am placing the song, that is my life, into my blog. (I must say that Jimmy Eat World's CD was my life last time i was having my 2 week zen moment in hawaii. Seclusion does worlds of good for a person - you should try it sometime.)
I am also dealing with a situation I am not quite sure. A friend did to me, what I am tempted to do to another - and I feel as if it is morally wrong, even though i would find it awfully satisfying. (for all of you who know, i dont think i am going to do anything.) I have too much on my plate right now - which isnt necessarily a bad thing - but can become a problem. I am so thankful for what I still have. Maybe tomorrow, i should have "too much food" jason mraz style. That is my other state of mind.
shit. break is over. well... okay... this is the song:


Jimmy Eat World - Cautioners

The time I would spend
With pictures I would not send

I watched you go from left to right
I followed you all...night
Across my blinds

You'll change your mind
Come Monday
And turn your back on me
Take your steps away
With hesitance
Take your steps away from me

I'm making my peace
And making it with distance

But maybe that's a big mistake
You know I'm thinking of you
I miss you

You'll change your mind
Come Monday
And turn your back on me
Take your steps away
With hesitance
Take your steps away from me


Is there a camp reuinion in October? if so, i need to mentally prepare myself - somebody fill me in plz...

Take you steps away with hesitence cruel, cruel world...
~*N*~





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