Im begining to feel really great about myself.
I know, youre all sitting at home wondering: "geez, why is natalie feeling so great about herself right now? i already know that she's hot stuff and i'd do her in a minute!"
um... oops... i guess thats only the guy in my french class who breathes really heavily and is a guayhole. I hate that kid.
i shouldnt hate so much.
So anyway, back to why i heart myself (ooh! conceited!) i am just overall happy that im not some sad bitter bi-polar beeyoch. I mean, wouldnt that suck? Im glad that i was only blessed with dyslexia, OCD, and ADD. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
This week is generally stressing me out. I have choir concerts almost every single day, and i have the paper to edit and layout and yadda yadda yadda. Its actually hell. This afternoon, i had one of those little crying fits, and i was temped to engrave "death death avril lavigne is god death death" into the back of a radio and jump in the bathtub. so alright, ill be honest, it wasn't a radio - it was a toaster.
I also went through last month's dramatist magazine... something about theater colleges - which is too bad because at first i was like "woot! this is going to help me pick out a college."
oh no. i was sadly mistaken.
It actually only confused my feelings about what i want to do with my life. Screenwriter? thats a hopeless cause... why dont i just be a trophy wife like i had originally planned?
no. apparently thats not cool with mom and dad: "being a trophy wife does not come with a dental plan."
actually they didnt say that. if they had said that, they would have sounded way cooler.
did i mention i have a newly discovered substance abuse problem? my psych said that if i am honest with myself and everyone else about it, then it will be easier to conquer.
thats a lie too. somebody told me that online. i haven't been to a psych since i was in 8th grade - thats when i was angsty, and i probably would have jumped into the bathtub with an ingraved toaster if i hadn't been locked in a room with padded walls.
no. thats a lie too. man oh man, im on a roll with the lies. id be surprized if anyone trusts me after this post.
you may not think that im funny, or that theres something seriously wrong with me, but i leave those people with this: no matter what a stripper tells you, there is absolutely no sex in the champagne room.
*sings* no sex in the champagne room, no sex in the champagne room, absolutely, positively no sex in the champagne roooom!
thank god i came up for air, it smells like popcorn up in herre.
my dad just said the following words:
(and last but not least (btw, he didnt say that))
somebody get this man some meds. hmm... ironic, the doctor cant get himself some meds...
I dont know about the rest of y'all, but i cant wait to get to college. although im so un-articulate (is that a word even?) and totally under educated (note: i am CULTURED... just under educated) i have no idea how im going to survive freshman year.
speaking of freshmen, i was in the hall, and everything was okay, until a group of freshmen started screaming about a mouse.
big deal. it was a mouse. get over it.
oh wait, those were sophomores. oh wait, i knew all of them. oh wait, i hate them. oh wait... oh wellllllll.
oh man. so now im back to where ive started. here's another thought for the last 2 days (that ive missed blogging...)
movies i heart and would see many many times:
fight club - FO SHO!
seven - although it was SUPER creepy
finding nemo - "ESSKAAAPAYYYYY!"
kindergarden cop - "its not a tuma!"
who framed roger rabbit
moulin rouge - im sorry. im an artsy yuppie...
dogma - seen it SOOOOOO many times, im a comedy central addict...
jay and silent bob strike back
austin powers - because theyre all great
winged migration - im an animal planet ADDICT
edward scissorhands - just saw it, just loved it.
ill continue the list on a later date, when someone isnt screaming at me... aka my parents.
now wait just one minizzle cruel cruel world...
(props to sasha in the last post for noting the coldplay reference.)
ps: mom quote of the day:
Me: mom, did you know gwenyth paltrow is pregnant?
mom: is she married?
me: no. but she's going out with the lead singer from coldplay. theyre good, remember?
mom: thats irresponsible?
me: me thinking theyre good is irresponsible?
mom: no. if they dont have the commitment to get married, they shouldnt be having babies. thats cruel and selfish. that poor child is going to grow up globetrotting, spoiled, and raised by a nanny.
me: geez. that must SUCK.
note: i guess that explains a LOT. but that conversation wasnt as funny as the indianappolis birth control conversation... we'll save that little tidbit for later folks...