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Friday, February 06, 2004

I believe I've found my nadir. Yes, the lowest point on my hero cycle (note for all you mythology kids!).

So yeah, lets talk about the last post, shall we? I am beginning to see that I have already hit the lowest point, and I can only go up from here. Although, at times i feel like I am still fighting uphill, I am trying to take more of an optimistic outlook. No, its not because of drugs, no, its not because im dumb. I just honestly can't care anymore. There's no stopping me now, im on a rolllllll!

So yeah, got my SAT score this morning. I wasn't exactly pleased, but i figured i have to take it in stride. Its one of those things where i was like "Fuck, Natalie! why do you have to be such a dumbass!" while at the same time my mom was like "yaaaay! goooood jobbb! you tested out of all the math at Emerson!"

what if i dont want to go to Emerson?
what if i hate Boston?
what if i dont do well on my SATs IN JUNE and can't go to NYU?
what if i dont like NYU?

see what i mean? its impossible to completely please me. Trying to convince me that things are okay, is like potty training a newborn - it doesnt work. I have yet to figure out that things really DO change and that things wont ALWAYS suck, because there have been times in my life where that has been the case.

I go to visit my sister in about a week... actually, its less than a week - i leave thursday night. Anywho, I am looking forward to having a kick ass time with my sister, her roomate gopi, peter, possibly ben, and whomever else i meet on the way. (i believe "the hunter" has been vetoed from the repetoire!) on the other hand, im hoping to have a good time. pleej, oh pleej let it be a good time! ;)

so cruel cruel world, are things looking up? or am i lying to myself to make myself happy?

ps - does that ring a bell mermaid?i wuvvvvvv youuuuuuuuuu!

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