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Friday, March 12, 2004

Massage. Now. Yes please.

I began to read at the age of 5, which in many cases, is early. I learned to read by recognising words. I never knew, and still dont, what that is techincally called in the "reading world," but i would call it "anti-phonetically."
that would make me an "anti-phonetisist."
sounds like a person who hates telemarketers.
anywho, my sister taught me to read this book about farm animals. I, too this day, remember what the book was about. It was the first book i read by myself. There were these animals... in this barn... and something about the farmer sleeping and a horse in a phone booth.
Its not like it ever mattered what the book was about. I was five. I could read. I was special.
As i continued my miseducation, i began to wonder, in awkward social situations, what am i doing wrong? Where did i fuck up? (I didnt actually use "fuck". I was like... 10 when i started questioning my inteligence. oh wait. i probably said "fuck." i was a rebellious 10 yr old.) I believe it all leads back to my ability to read, or lack thereof. I'm not sure why I havent ever learned to read properly, and i would rather spend my time sitting in front of a screen, computing my heart out, than with my face in a book.
im nearsided, slightly farsided, and have a stigmatism.
yeah. blind pretty much covers it.
but why dont i wear glasses? thats an honest question, sure. There is a simple explination, and it all leads back to when i got my first pair.
There was this girl named Sara in my choir. I thought she was sooooo coooool! She was really pretty, and i was really jealous of her. She had brown hair, brown eyes, and these really neat round, "tortise shell" glasses that she wore every day.
thats when i decided i wanted glasses.
So like every other neglected child of the early 90s, i attemped to fail my eye exams. wait, maybe that was just me. anywho, i would go and purposefully try to fuck up. Its hard, you gotta come up with letters that are similar to the ones that youre reading on the little poster on the wall. (if you get to abstract, like mix up an "L" with a "G", they know youre lying.) Then, when they put those REALLY REALLY BIG SCARY METAL GLASSES THING with all the different strengths of lenses in front of your eyes, and whenever things get blurry, you say your vision is clearer.
I, apparenly, sucked at trying to screw my eye exams, because from when i started taking them, until i was in the later part of my 5th grade year, the stupid eye doctor said i was "bouncing back and forth across the 20/20 line."
I'm Natalie Lewis. And this is 20/20.
So i was like "fuck this," and luckily, my parents decided to get a new eye doctor.
a dumber one. meaning, one that thought i was nearsided, farsided, and have a stigmatism.
i bought new glasses. i wore them for a week in 7th grade, and then i thought they made my face look fat.
then they broke.
now i dont wear them.

that was my random freewrite cruel cruel world...

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