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Funny how little words spur so much controversy...
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Saturday, September 25, 2004

Mood: cautious
Music: hey joe - hendrix
Color: blue moon
Vice: sam, bau, marcus, and zak (go figure)

cause theres beauty in the breakdown.

i just deleted the entire post that i spent half an hour on.
because i can.
Because i have power over my entire life.
does that make me completely happy?
no, because i let things effect me.
is there anything i can do about that?
absolutely not. i can only take the advice i am given for face value and use it to my advantage, which is working so far.
i still feel numb.
which i suppose is to be expected.
its almost as if i need a distraction from whats distracting me from my every day life.
but what is it?
where is it?
who is it?
there are about 12 people that could answer that question.
because we all know the answer
cause i cant stop talking about it.
thinking about it.
dreaming about it.
wishing about it.
becuase in that world, things work out.
while in this world, i have to work for the things that i want.
or is this coming naturally?
should i be surprized?
am i reading too much into it?
have i once again jumped into something i cant handle?
im not quite sure yet.
I dont know what that person meant about that thing at that place.

but i cant wait until it allllll goes down. IF you know what i mean.
it keeps me happy.
it keeps me hopeful.
chin up. just keep swimming.

no more fucking grumpy gills cruel, cruel world...
i cant even say that anymore...

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