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Thursday, October 21, 2004

 
Mood: sad for the kitty. full for the tummy. tired for the head.
Music: must be dreaming - frou frou
Color: red
Vice: secrets and water polo. procrastinating and trying NOT to get into college.

to deny my father and refuse my name, and if not be sworn my love ill no longer be a... uh... Lewis.
to be single, or not to be single. THAT is the question.
being single isnt so bad. i mean, its different, and its been awhile since ive been REALLY single*
(*meaning i have no one, i have a crush on no one, and no one has a crush on me. except for that one person. but he doesnt count. hah.)
anywho, i remember back in the day when it didnt matter how single you were. You were hot if you had a boyfriend - that was the deal - otherwise, you were just average.
it was not a big deal in middle school if you were single, at least for me. Considering there was a boy to girl ratio 4:20 (HAHAHAHHAA, but not kidding. there were only 4 eligible boys in the school) you had omething if you had a boyfriend.
It used to be so simple. It was a bigger deal when you had a crush on someone. Everybody would make a HUGE deal about it until the person you liked got word from the other girl that liked him. SHE decided that if she told him that you (the ugly fat girl/retard/pseudo-lesbian) liked him, he wouldn't like you. she got lucky, and he would run. very very fast. in fact, he had like the top third record of the mile in his age group. no joke.
whatever, the point is, it was way simpler. These days, if you have a "boyfriend" that means you maybe hang out once a week and make out whenever youre alone (which in some cases is all the time.) You dont really talk. You dont really have much in common. But thats alright, cause everyone likes a quickie dry hump, right? Well sometimes that doesnt cut it, and it calls for times when you have to shamelessly throw yourself at someone in hopes they'll be your friend.
Whats wrong with being friends?
Apparently, Bunny is good at this "becoming friends before fucking around" bit. I have yet to truely figure the system out, but as i recall (when she explained it to me) it includes being someone's friend before you fuck around. go figure. apprently this has some benefits and some disadvantages.
benefits:
- you are sure you have something in common.
- the person knows (or at least you hope) that you are more than a pretty face (if you have one...)
- you've had good times already
- you know you can deal with each other in groups
disadvantages:
- you get no ass until you hook up.... haha
- they know A LOT about you. at times, too much.
- you are friends with all of their friends. oops. and you like those new friends better...
- you analize shit a lot more.
I am still a retard idiot for writing those out.
anywho, as i started out, being single kind of sucks, but it also has its advantages:
advantages to being single:
- you can flirt with whomever you want. even if your best friend thinks your a pedifile/idiot/whore
- being ugly is okay, cause nobody likes you anyway.
- you are fabulous and can fuck random people for no reason
- you can spend your saturday nights with your best friend, eating ice cream and watching sex in the city.
- you can chill by yourself and not feel guilty.
disadvantages to being single:
- your bed gets cold and lonely
- you have cravings to be held
- you feel worthless sometimes. like nobody loves you. which is sometimes true.
- you have withdrawls. you know what i mean.
- you shamelessly throw yourself at exes, jailbait (more than you are), and people of the same sex.

where was i going with this?
roight. being single sucks. sometimes. sometimes it rocks.
i hate being lonely.
there are places where you can buy some, right?
oh. whorehouses. good.
there arent a lot of hot male prostitutes, are there?
and they probably have crabs. super.
dont want that, do we?
nope. not really at alllllll.
this weekend, things are going to change cruel cruel world. its been decided.
~*N*~


a stutter is just a buildup. its natural suspense.





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