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Monday, November 22, 2004

 
Mood: exhausted... realized i am going to be setting a bad example tomorrow when i dont have all my rough drafts in on time...
Music: Mockingbird - Eminem (what can i say, its got a good beat... you know how i feel about rhythym... ;)
Color: red
Today is: start your own country day and unnofficial Mike Bibby day (dont ask.)

Just so you know, the way people have found my blog through a search engine is through one of the following searches:
- Prostitute
- Beauty in the breakdown lyrics
- Jacob Minne

beauty in the breakdown and jacob minne? we all know that beauty in the breakdown is frou frou, but jacob minne? hmm. whatever. prostitute was a given - if the shoe fits, i say.

God damn it. Daniel introduced me to this program where I can download entire CDs at a time and get all the mp3s. now im a bigggggg dork, and spend my time downloading albums i should be buying.
I recently got Eminem - Encore and John Mayer - Heavier Things. Don't buy me those for christmas, i already own them.
Apparently, my iPod is also in my mother's posession. God damn it, she probably wont give it to me until after OSU finals. Gar. I want it NOW. kind of like how i want certain people "now." marcus had a word for it (when i beat him 9-8 at soul caliber II - WHAT BITCH?! i was ahead of him the whole time...)
I was doing my "journal" for CWX last night and came to a harsh realization: I am spoiled and impatient. and that last paragraph proves it.
When i want something, i want it now. i dont want to wait around for it. its why i could never "save" any of my presents on christmas day. its why i cant keep money lying around my room - i'll spend it. its why i enjoy "the chase" when it comes to boys and then lose interest as soon as i get them. dear god, i'm beginning to see the light.
dubF is still looking down. Still no date. Still no dress. Still no hope. I hate dances. I've been asked to one dance my entire life, and it was becasue he was my boyfriend (at the time) and it was really sweet and romantic and whatnot, but then i ended up dumping him before prom, so it kind of all cancelled out. we stayed friends tho. i think. i hope. sorry topher. gar.
should i take note of everything ive got and be happy that ive got it? cause at times i dont think i cherish what i have. sometimes i do, and i really feel lucky that im so privledged. and then theres times when i want more. i need more. its pathetic, really. i think i've had enough of that converstation.
i just read something in badeau's profile that i really like: why get drunk and drive home swerving, when you can get high and fly home soaring? i kind of agree with that. im not a big fan of the whole "lets get drunk and drive ourselves home" bit. i have never been a fan of drunk driving (ever since that near death experience with nora. i seriously keep having out-of-body flashbacks every time i think of it.) (for those of you that dont know, Nora and I were driving to 9th street from that loop and this truck pulled out of NOWHERE, they were obviously drunk by the way they were driving, and almost hit me and Nora - more specifically Nora, cause it was on her side. it was the closest call ever, but my cat-like reflexes jerked the car out of the way just in time. very scary) but still, i just am never completely comfortable when drunk people drive. end of story.
i think im going to go play video games with boys now. not for too long. i just need some air cruel cruel world. i still have "the stress twitch."
~*N*~


i miss california. i think.





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