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Funny how little words spur so much controversy...
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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Mood: my eyes sting from the onions... im also kinda... shocked.
Music: Breathe - Fabolous, Hollywood - Madonna, Toy Soldiers - Eminem (the loop is killer)
Color: brown
Today is: national cashew day

so i've lost "ohsobeautifulpopular" boy... but he is nice. so i guess its a draw. he thinks im cool. HAH.
i've pushed away my "sure thing"... sort of... and then i led him on. MY BAD. is it still a sure thing? we shall see...
the "happymomentsaregonenow" is... well... gone now
the "onethatgotaway"...
well... got away. for reals this time.

i have a list of boys. that is so weak.
something might happen this weekend... acutally, i know something is going to happen. i am going to play tennis this weekend, and that is the end of it.
if i have to ask someone else to play, then so be it.
if i have to serve, so be it.
if i have to volley, so be it.
god damn it, if i have to beg, god forbid i have to beg, i just might.
no thats a lie. im not that much of a whore to beg.

but this is not to whom you might expect.
"sure thing" seems to be... fairly sure.
so i'll just call him.
i have to watch gone with the wind anyway - and who can actually watch 233 minutes of that bullshit?
i should distract myself.
am i a whore?
i guess thats the question of the hour.
natalie, you are only a whore if you think youre a whore. if you just think of yourself as a sexually powerful independant woman who is self confident, thats what you'll be.
hahaha. blog you are so funnnny... and you are much hotter than me.
note to self: call me when you are a sexually powerful independant woman who is self confident.
till then, ill be grabbing boys by the collar and pulling them against walls.
pop yo collah... damnnnn youre fine cruel, cruel, world.

ill call you the hour i turn 18...
fuck... where are you when i need you easy-e?

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit torn apart
We never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

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