Music: Cigarette - Ben Folds Five... oh... now its Believe Me Natalie - The Killers and Miss Misery - Elliot Smith
Today is:Occult Day
Do you miss me, miss misery, like you say you do?
Suddenly wishing i was one of the "popular kids."
They do things like have REAL halloween parties where people actually get dressed up. They go to homecoming with 30 of their closest friends. (No joke)
They go out and have fun. Even sober fun sometimes.
They always have somebody else to back them up.
They're always in the yearbook.
They always have a date to the dance.
They're always nominated for prom court and shit like that.
They have people's houses to "chill" at all summer.
They always have money. They always have the car they got for their 16th birthday.
They always have the hottest arm candy with them.
Why can't I be popular? I mean, I'm cool... right?
Forget what they said in Soho.
Is this some sort of identity crisis that you hit during senioritis? Is this a side effect? Wishing I had done all the things and hung out with all the cool kids during my high school career? Is that what I really want? Is that what I wish I could have had? Will most of them end up going to OSU, living in a house their parents bought for them? I don't really want that. I want to live my own life, do my own things. Wishing will get me nowhere.
However, I wish I had enjoyed my adolesance to a grander extent.
I just deleted the rest of the post. Why? You don't EVER delete posts before letting people read it. I thought you didn't censor yourself?! I don't. Its just in this case, I was just really upset and nobody would be my friend after reading it.
What was it about? How almost nobody is really my friend.
Well that's kind of sad. Don't you expect people to post now and show how much they love you? No. Because that will just reinforce the point in the deleted post that people are all about "awww, you're my best friend... when its convenient." I hate that. Me too. Thats why I wrote about it.
Your capitilizing your "I"s. You're thinking too much. Fuck you. I'm conversing with my blog. Isn't that sad enough?
Well, that and the fact that you don't have any friends. I thought we went over that. I do have friends. Sort of.
Yeah, you do have friends, you lucky bitch. Then why am I not popular?
Because you're ugly. Right. I knew that. why did i even ask?
I was kidding. I wasn't. I shouldnt have asked you. I should have expected an answer like that.
I was really kidding. I'm sorry. You're beauuuutiful! Thanks. It's a little late for that.
I'm sorry. Did I actually offend you? No. Not really. I just like putting my blog through a guilt trip.
Why's that? It makes me feel like i wear the pants in this relationship.
Right. I knew that... wait, are you saying that i DONT wear the pants in the relationship? No. you can if you want.
But then we're both wearing pants. Well im not now...
You aren't? Call me.
You're weird. I was kidding. We can both wear the pants.
Does that mean we're gay? I dont know.
I dont know either. I do know we cant get married.
Shit. that sucks. Yeah, i was really looking forward to marrying my blog.
I would be. I'm pretty hot. You're so bad.
I know. harder. Shut up.
You know you like it. You know I'm hot. So i've noticed. You would be the hotter of the two of us.
I know. You like my body dont you? You know it, babydoll.
Go me. Yeah. go you. do your bad blog thing.
I think thats about enough. We've all learned that my blog and I are in a homosexual relationship (i AM a lesbian now... thank you gentlemen), that we both wear the pants in the relationship (how thats going to work out is beyond me...), we can't get married, and my blog is hotter than i am. probably because people from uruguay look at it more than me. Sad.
Believe me Natalie, listen Natalie, listen:
This is your last chance, cruel, cruel, world.
Its time for my meds... having withdrawls. Worse than last time... lets go tubbing?