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Saturday, November 27, 2004

 
Mood: Tired.
Music: Gwen Stefani - What are you waiting for (take a chance you stupid ho), Muse, and The Streets (thank you Euromtv)
Color: Tick tock
Today is: Pins and Needles Day

oh god. Eamon is on. I totally forgot that he exists.

please, add a pelvic thrust and call it a day because smell is the strongest sense tied to memory.
My weekend was a whirlwind of emotion and chaos. A mixture of love and hate. A combination of light and dark. Lets say it was a shmorgasborg, or better yet, lets call it a bittersweet symphony.

I just pulled into Nazareth...

Lately, I feel like I have been putting a lot of other people in front of my own needs. (My pyramid is way outta whack. ) But it feels really selfish to look back on that and read it again. I need some humble pie, but call it an accomodation. Then again, I have been taking a lot of time to myself, and being slightly selfish. Is it wrong to make it a give and take relationship with the world? Or should I be the altruist that society puts so much credit in. How many REAL altruists do we have? I have only known one altruist in my entire life, and that is my mother. If someone can point out ONE selfish thing she has done in her entire career as my mother, I will personally put them through college. cha-ching.
I want to go back to Italy. I think if i don't go to China this summer, I'm going to go on a "soul searching" trip by myself. Is that wrong? is that selfish? How am i going to buy shoes from all my friends if i dont go and "find myself" so i can write awesome movies, make hella cash, and buy my friends stuff?
I find the lead singer of the hives terribly attractive. Men who can actually rock, or who I think can actually rock, are hot. Very very hot. "Thank you very much Roma."
Have you noticed that those girls that do all that booty shaking are the ones with the really hot waists? Maybe i should booty shake a whole lot more.
Here is a list of things I plan on doing with my money, once i make it:
1. Buy my mother a house in Tuscany and make her financially stable for the rest of her life.
2. Pay my father back for college.
3. Direct my own movie.
4. Fly my closest friends to NY with me to go clubbin in Manhattan.
5. Buy shoes. For everyone. Shoes for everyone. Or maybe we should do that before clubbing, cause we gotta look hot with those shoes.
6. Buy Lesley a car. Because i promised.
7. Give money to Corvallis
8. Open a club.
9. create a scholarship for "average" kids (taking into consideration that your mother has told you that no one is average since the dawn of time...) so pretty much, whomever i like best and want to give the scholarship to.
10. i havent quite decided whta # 10 is yet. this list is not in stone, nor is this list limited to 10. Taking into consideration what a "sucessful" screenplay makes these days, I'll have enough money to go around to all the people that deserve it, and then maybe if i want, i'll build myself a hobbit hill somewhere and live as ahermit for the rest of my life.
and i'll buy myself someone pretty. and then i'll buy them a brain, so we can at least talk after we fuck.

this is one of those "single" stagest in my life where i have so many people around, but i still feel very much alone. I don't know if thats just poor emotional coping on my part, but i am once again in that "settling down" mood. I don't know. can somebody explain why im feeling like this? This isnt the first time ive gotten in this... crevace. And its not like im not getting some... hahahahhahahahahahahah. cause if i really wanted to, i could probably find it. I've developed this new (SAD) confidence that king of just makes me pull a whorish move where im like "hey, I'm gonna go make out with that guy."
keep in mind that this has only happened twice, athough the other night when i was like "im gonna fuck ****** tonight." and lesley made fun of me, i bet it was pretty impressive when i got that person to talk to me for a good 30 minutes when we had not been on speaking terms, there was a crazy bitch in the air, and he is in a fairly serious relationship. I suppose that he hug me with such vigor, and that i looked so damn cute, was definately a plus. I felt so gangsta.
I think im going to wear my new shoes tomorrow. New hat on tuesday.
I want to go underwear shopping... vickies? who's with me?
mmmm... hungry. wheres the orange chicken?
oh right. Arlen and Rob ate it. So i was stuck with the fuckin tempeh. Fuck. Tempeh. Who eats that shit? oh right, me.
I suddenly feel very antsy, and wished i had gone party crashing last night instead of going to bed at midnight, i should have snuck back out.
I sincerely hope that the perfume ad i just saw for "eau de pimp" from Xhibit was a joke.

I think it's safe to say that if there was an acapolypse, Duran Duran would be one of the things to survive cruel cruel world.
~*N*~

is there anyone out there? cause its getting harder and harder to breathe...

FUXORRRRRRRR.





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