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Friday, December 17, 2004

Mood: Overcast
Music: Damien Rice and The Postal Service and the soundtrack from Love Actually
Color: aqua
Today is: xmas

I started this and figured i'd finish. gar.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? taken classes at a college/seriously traveling by myself
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I generally don't make new years resolutions because i have a tendancy not to keep them. for next year, i am thinking about setting higher goals for myself, and hopefully i'll be motivated enough to go through with it. I'd like to fall in love, but i dont think thats really a goal.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My aunt... baby Jesus Heather. My agnostic uncle will be playing the role of Joseph in my aunt's church christmas pagent. As assumed, Heather will play Jesus. I love my family.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Good question. I dont remember going to any funerals, so no. Oh wait, I died. And then i was reborn. Did i forget anyone?
5. What countries did you visit? Er, i dont think i traveled out of the country.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? a non-dysfunctional family... possibly love.
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? hahahahahah... try the month of June and July
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? finishing my junior year without a "depression stint," getting into the USC summer program and getting ELECTED to be the graduation speaker, and making it through my first term of OSU with awesome grades.
9. What was your biggest failure? i Think iT hAd To do wiTh communicATion - i suppose my ATTempT AT communicATion in relATionships wAs Too much on A WHIM. my inability to save that relationship was my biggest failure.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? emotionally, absolutely. didnt break any bones. oh man, and i got sick at SC, and that blew chunks.
11. What was the best thing you bought? a clue
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? my mother's. she's been completely supportive of everything ive done. she told me that she was proud of me, and for the first time in my life, i could tell she was actually proud of me and wasnt just saying it cause thats what moms are supposed to do. i think its the first time she EVER said she was actually proud of me in any form.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? my own. i was terribly disgusted with my own behavior in many situations, and im glad i turned it around before it was too late.
14. Where did most of your money go? USC. fuckin tr0jans... i heart you... accept me, please?
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? going to USC, starting senior year, getting into college
16. What song will always remind you of 2004? fuck man, fuckin "hey ya," "Lean back," "Heaven," (dj sammie style, none of that los lonely punks shit) and anything by the killers.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? honestly, sadder. last year i was in the beginning of a new relationship that i was happy in, my best friend and i had a place to party, it was snowing at home, and i wasnt as lonely as i am now. i also wasnt affected by bullshit. that makes no sense. sorry.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? spent more time with friends. i studied too damn much and didnt see enough results. i wish i had communicated more, that would make me a better person
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? stressed out, pigged out, cried
20. How will you be spending Christmas? lonely in hawaii - oh look, here i am...
22. Did you fall in love in 2004? we dont really talk about that anymore
23. How many one-night stands? HAHHAHAHAHAHHA... lets just say that the elevator saw it all! one...
24. What was your favourite TV program?Desperate Housewives, Life as We Know it, and Alias... yesss.... 15 days!
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? hate is a pretty powerful word, i hate someone more than i did last year... but its nobody anyone else would hate. no, it isnt who youre thinking of, because she only hates me - i dont care enough to hate her.
26. What was the best book you read? The Alchemist - props to Daniel and A Clockwork Orange. its still fucking with my head.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? THE KILLLLLLERRSSSSSSSSSSSS!
28. What did you want and get? ipod, you are my friend
30. What was your favourite film of this year? hmmmm... thats a REALLY tough one...
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i turned 17, and on my real birthday, i honestly dont remember...
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? hahahhahhahahahaha... oh man, its always what i "want," its never what i "have"...
34. What kept you sane? some really close friends who reminded me who i really was and how ill be fine in the long run. they came later in the year, but were well worth it.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? i try not to look up to celebrities... thats dangerousssss...
37. Who did you miss? the person i used to be, and all my USC friends
38. Who was the best new person you met? i think we all know who that is. ;)
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: never be afraid to say whats on your mind, cause if you dont, someone else will talk first and break you down.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "I know a drugstore cowgirl/so afraid of getting bored/she's always running from something/so many things ignored" - 311, "Theres beauty in the breakdown" - Frou Frou... and just for shits and giggles "Just lean back" and "Somebody told me..."

save me from this thing you call fate cruel cruel world...

i miss you.... but not YOU

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