Mood: Scratchy. Music: Daft and Evil - Interpol Color: Ugly Today is: the morning after
I am beginning to notice i have a fairly high tolerance for pain. I was thinking that if, say, my little brother had as many copamarcocas bruises as i do or had pulled a muscle in his butt while bowling that he would complain much more. Same for most of my guy friends. I don't know, maybe i'm preparing for the pain of childbirth, or extreme college stress, which, of course, i am definately looking forward to. I love the pressure. I love the rush. I like the chaos. I thrive off the chaos, regardless of how much i say i hate it, which i do. Okay, that didn't make sense, I hate the chaos and the pressure and the crazy, but thats just part of me and i guess i am coming to accept it. I am accepting the fact i make terribly rash decisions without completely thinking them through. I am accepting the fact that not everybody likes me and theres nothing i can do about it. I am accepting the fact that as many times i have listened to this song, i am yet to get sick of it.
My mom had a really valid point yesterday: WHEN i'm rich and famous, people are going to write things about me in the tabloids... all the time. I'll have to be really thick skinned and get over it. I mean, but you hear celebrities: it hurts their feelings even if its not true. I guess I'll just have to keep doing things the same way: making rash decisions, being loud and obnoxious, and enjoying my life.
I wish i had more time to play video games. Instead, i'm impatienly awaiting the email that lesley will be sending me with my biology homework. bwahaha. i did it, but i can tell i'll like hers better.
I'm feeling frustrated now. I'm not sure if its because i haven't seen my shrink in a week, or because i have a popamarcocas bruise (dont ask) or pulled my butt muscle, or because i'm sick and tired, emotionally and physically.
*editing note: had to go hit the enter key so that my page wasnt all cracked out. youre welcome.* posted by Nat
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Mood: Stressed Music: Bring em Out - TI Color: Sunshine Today is: Be Humble Day
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! First it was Oklahoma bowling party + whoever shows up. We got some bowling done until about 9:30 and Paul decided it would be a good idea to heist a 6 pound ball, which they actually keep on these huge gray plastic carts. He easily heists it, and we run off into the night. After a whole lotta techno in Ben's van, we end up spending a hella long time outside Paul's house (windchimes, car stealings, photoshoots, and busted cell phones.) and then decide that we're going to light the bowling ball on fire. Yes, on fire. So we drive off into the night, again, and find a suitable hill to bowl down. Ric, Les, Julia and I walk down a good part of the hill to "catch" the flaming bowling ball while Paul and Ben light it at the top. 10 minutes later, we stand impatiently for the FBB (flaming bowling ball) to fly down the hill. It's a no-show. We call them, and it turns out Ben lost his lighter. Julia realizes she has one in her car, so she starts back up the hill. Suddenly, 2 cars come driving up the hill. I frantically dial Ben's cell as Rick, Les and I dive onto a dirt pile, only to realize it's horse shit (really.) After the cars leave, nothing is happening. I call Ben, and all I hear is frantic whispering. I call again, Ben whispers that we are aborting the mission and to run our asses up the hill, which we immediately do. Someone has come out of their house to see what all the commotion was about. We all speed off into the night to realize les and Julia have to go home. Rick and I ride with les until the 6 of us meet up in the Timberhill parking lot. Les and Jules go home, Rick and I join the Paul/Ben team and we ride off into the night.. again and again. We drive to Chip Ross and decide the hills are just right for a FBB. We drive to the lot to see if anybody is making out, which of course someone is. We harass them a little (yeah, it was mean. get over it.) and then we decide its enough teasing, and we go to light our FBB. Rick and I photojournal from the car as Ben and Paul light the FBB. It rolls down the hill and Ben chases after it as it rolls into a bush. (I swear his pants were on fire a little.) When the FBB stops rolling (Ben kicked it into a curb) we decide it's a bad idea to bring a burnt FBB into the car right away. So we drive back up to the lot to harass the lovebirds. Ben flashes the brights at them, and all of a sudden, they turn on their car and the start coming towards us! Ben moved that motherfuckingvan as fast as ive ever seen a motherfuckingvan move. We drove off into the night and turned off the road and hid for a few seconds. Then we went back to pick up the FBB (what was left of it at least) and saw Darren Starks' truck, who apparently lives next to Chip Ross. After we were all excited about our flaming bowling ball, we went to sharis for french fries and strawberry lemonades and chatted over our sucessful FBB.
Just so you know. That was the FBB story. The first rule of bowling club, is you dont talk about bowling club cruel cruel world. ~*N*~
lets leave the past... OVER THERE! posted by Nat
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Mood: Tired. And sick of my ES201 paper already... GARRRR Music: Talk Show Host - Radiohead, The Apple Song - The Stack, Bring em Out - TI Color: Blur Today is: the morning after.
Lesley and I are to fucking domestic for our own good. After we watched Napoleon Dynamite this morning (she was just as unimpressed as i was) we immediately jumped back into bed and read magazines, side by side. I told her it was like we were married, so she started playing footsie with me. I wasn't in the mood: i was "too tired... and i have a headache!" excuses excuses... aHEM.
Last night was absolutely fantastic.
my half of tali's birthday present: $ 13 chinese takeout: $ 8.75 red bull: $ 2 after game dance: $ 4 lying on the cold kitchen floor laughing with Anna, Erin and Les trying to remember what happened/who we danced with: fucking priceless (stolen from Les)
After driving to the dance and parking in "Grandma's" driveway, we pretended Anna was a French exchange student at CV (tricked YOU!) and screamed our head off at the game. Lesley bought one of those vinage sweaters, and i... well... cheered with Andy... as to be expected. After the game (WHICH WE WON!) the four of us drove to Ryans and Anna and I downed the red bulls that Katie bought for us. We then returned to CHS (after parking at Grandmas... AGAIN!) and cut a majority merged with the line (senior priority) and boogied down.
... thats when it gets blurry. Only some things can be recalled, for example: - Techno. - Lesley... being weird. dont dance with any more boys by grabbing them by the side of the face. bwahhaa - Anna dancing with EVERY boy (i am SO jealous) - switching spots in the circle - downhill and GG (WTF?!) - Get Low - Getting CV'd... BY LESLEY! - Magic Fingers/ The man - star wars - guitar solos.... ON THE FLOOR ("nice guitar solos ladies!" i turn around to realize its my preschool boyfriend, who is currently a junior. EGAWK!)
please correct me if ive left anything vital out. make sure its PC/kosher/public worthy.
back to the ES201 paper my friends. stop drinking smirnoff and get back to the dance cruel cruel world. ~*N*~
my goodness. we are WHORES. yay for ladies night. posted by Nat
Monday, February 14, 2005
Mood: Stressed out to the max. Music: Spice Girls (my mom is cleaning to it... WEIRD) Color: Black. The color of my lonely soul... i mean, Red, the color of my nose. Today is: Valentine's Day... or Single's Awareness Day (which, according to Les, is for "bitter, ugly people.")
You Know You're From Oregon When... Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks. You throw an aluminum can in the trash and feel guilty. You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice as much as you originally paid. You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else. You consider something a "hill" (not a mountain) if it doesn't have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of its altitude. You consider "etiquette" a foreign word. Most of your friends are from California. You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner. You used to live somewhere else but won't admit it publicly. You've ever ordered a half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with sugar-free cranberry whip (or you know what it is). You know a bride & groom that registered at REI. If someone ran your car off the highway, you might drown. You'd be miffed if the store was out of your favorite brand of water. Every day is casual Friday. Hear the word "ferry" and think of boats and long waits. Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix. (editors note: or in Corvallis' case: H-P) You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water. Know that Boring is a town and not just a state of mind. Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat. You return from a California vacation depressed because “all the grass was dead.” Remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power and phone service for every winter weather event in the last five years. Have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowner’s policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides. You never go camping without waterproof matches, ponchos, and mattress pads that double as flotation devices. You believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths. You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have the names of microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. You think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there, once. You replace your hiking boots with Birkenstock or Teva sandals when the weather gets above 60 degrees. You believe people who use umbrellas are wimps or Californians, or both. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Oregon.
personally, i haven't owned a pair of birkies since i was 7, but i guess im still an oregonian because i call them "birkies." durrr... ALSO, i was born and raised in corvallis - i didnt move from anywhere else... but my parents did. hmm...
however, i stole that whole hooplah from Tim. Yikes. Time to find some new profiles to compulsively/obsessively check.
I am MUY stressed out: -Selling the house stresses out my mom a lot, and a lot of it rubs off on me - not intentionally, but its enough to stress me out while im at home because i have a lot of other stuff going on. like... - my ES201 paper on racism at CHS (which shouldnt be SUCH a challenge researching) is due in like... a week, so im all thinking about it already. - I have a "C" in biology. which is TRUELY unacceptable. Good thing i have Les on my team, or i would FAIL big time. - my therapist has yet to resolve any of my real issues. ive just been talking a lot, which i suppose helps a little to get it out in the air. I've never really sat down and told the whole story to someone. everyone's just got bits and pieces. This goes waaay back, and its kind of weird that she has this whole timeline set out. I'm also noticing that as i tell the story, my brain keeps remembering really weird moments that ive repressed or something. Like... really weird moments. - Boys. Boys stress me out, hugely. More than often. For those who are are interested (if there are any of you) keep in mind i like boys who i totally cant have: whether its because you are not single, live in another country, or are totally NOT interested in me, i find it incredibly tempting and it drives me crazy that i cant have you. keep that in mind next time. - Friends. Friends can be weird too. I am done trying to analyse them.
I am booked this weekend, so don't even try to make plans with me. I mean, you can try, or mention that you would just LOVE to spend time with me... but it means you will probably get penciled in for the weekend after. sorry.
here i go again on my own cruel cruel world. another valentines day, another weird night. ~*N*~
Mood: So tired. My left ear is still ringing. Music: Garden State Soundtrack and Short Stack (bwahah) Color: Mud Today is: The Day before Singles' Awareness Day
Tomorrow will be interesting. One of two things might happen: One: Some charming, dashing fellow will surprize me with a rose and wisk me off my feet into the sunset on a white horse. Two: It will be like any other depressing significant-other-less day, except Les and I will both be wearing pink.
Hmm... sounds like tomorrow is a #2 day.
Just got back from my LAST CHOIR RETREAT EVERRRRR at Camp Tadmore. Honestly, I will truely miss the muddy paths, the weak shower curtains in the remodled bathroom, and the constant smell of mold in the lodge.
Some highlights: - The Half Stack. Since Noah and Alex are both in HVCC, we got a stupendous show in the post-talent show moments. Lots of singing, dancing, yelling, and Katie Payne and I dancing on a little stage in front of the entire choir. I think I just had a flashback... the acid type. - Jonah Seitz. Let me just proclaim right here and now that I simply adore that boy. He is probably in my top 10 favorite people of all time. We were a little veclempt (not in that way, B) over Barbara. - Geoff King. "I like children." "Me fight no more forever." and "I don't want to tomorrow wear a shirt no" The kid is always giving us the classics. - The bus ride. Not only did we have a sing along, but I got to sit with the coolest people ever. Jeremy and I knitted for like... 5 minutes, and then joined in on a huge giggle fest. It was fabulous. "Figures, look where I'm sitting and it's Black History Month" - Justin, in regards to his lack of seat in the back of the bus... almost peed my pants from laughing so hard. - "Hey Geoff, I just want the news, not the weather." - KTP - Fart Jokes. "Good ol' Mountain DEW!" Thank you very much, Joey and Jonah. - J-Unit. Only I could be the stylist... with fruit roll up wrappers. Juh-Juh-Juh-Juh-Juh-Juh-J-UNIT!
- Dance Party in Steens. For the first time EVER, I was in a cabin that wasn't directly off the path - I had to walk down the friggin hill to the very bottom where lowly old Steens resided. It wasn't too bad minus the HUMONGOUS spider that almost landed on Jeremy, while he was sitting on my bunk. I promptly tried to move it outside, but it decided it would rather live next to our chaperone's bed. My bad, I kind of lost track of it after that. Anywho, after the talent show and Short Stack performance, we (meaning as many people as we told) went back to Steens for DJ Nat Dogg's 2nd annual dance party. With the ipod hooked into my oh-so-sad-and-pathetic boom box, we busted some good dance tunes. A dance off erupted, and I won both of my 2 battles: one against Katie Payne, in which I butt-bumped her out of the circle, and Bekkah McCormick, who tried to use my move against me, so I pushed her out... with my HANDS. BWAHAHA. There was no stopping me. (She seemed a little angry about it, but you know, when a dance off erupts, you gotta use what you got.) Dance party got broken up by chaps around 12 (when it was technically "lights out") but we got a whole bunch of songs in, including sandstorm (TECHNO 05!), 2 rounds of Dragonstea Din Tei. Ma-ai-hee!
So after about 30 "oh what, oh fives," Tadmore 05 has come to an end. May the memories of ol' Tadmore live on forever, including the original soda-opening "AHHHHH!" May the road rise to meet you cruel cruel world. ~*N*~
Thank you Paul Skiis, and you, cruel cruel world.
~*N*~ posted by Nat
Music: lala oooh lala ahhh lala ooh lala ahah!
Today is: the day after
we told you to expect the unexpected. but you didnt even begin to imagine.
Last night was rediculous. My mum went out of town, so i of course planned a completely rediculous night of crazy. yes, a night of crazy. it started as follows:
Had a coffee date planned with Bau. Ended up going to Dream, where I drove him all the way from Timberhill and ended up paying for his pizza. murrrrrrrrrr. i drove home quickly to make it home in time to say goodbye to my mother. Lesley and Amanda came over soon after (after lesley made sure the stalker outside her house had left) and we started getting ready for the creme de la creme of our evening: crashing CV's Sadie Hawkins. It actually took us a whole hour and a half to get ready (soooo long - les and i are used to speed seshes.) and we started drinking Red Bull. And by drinking red bull, i mean chugging - gotta make that stuff hit you hard an fast. So we made it to sadies (on time) and got in without a problem. S.DJ was in this hizzouse (with Ikika) but nobody was dancing yet, so my girls and I hit the floor. We were loud and all over the place - but nobody at CV makes a lot of noise at their dances and whatnot (we wore the aves so people wouldn't recognize us right away) Saw a whole plethora of people: Anna and Sam, Marcus and... soandso, Tim and some girl (Aime?), Megan and Nate, and a whole bunch of CHS kids (s.dj played that awesome song paul brought back AND that techno song for us.) Ben and Paul Skiis (haha) snuck in half-way through and came and danced with us which was a lot of fun. Les and I got the most attention when i was screaming or when we threw ourselves to our knees on the guitar solo of "I believe in a thing called love." We had an absolutely fantastic time. Ben left early to go talk to his gf, and the four of us left to go change at my house. We all snuck back into my house around 12 and i told my dad we were going out for ice cream... for about 3 hours. We went back out and picked up ben, who had to sneak out, and went to tina's. We all just kinda hung out, DDR'd, and played silly card games. Around 3, we left to go "fuck shit up" but i think we were all kind of tired, so we went to cubs and ran around. Paul was the only one that fucked shit up, just some shampoo, but at least we accomplished something.
we dropped the boys off, had a gossip sesh, and of course, i was the first one to pass out. Mandy and Les talked until around 6 (i was already dead to the world,) I got up about an hour ago to clean my room and start homework, while Les and Mandy are still sleeping.
I am so fucked on my energy today, but it was SO worth it. Last night was a night for the record books. Latest i've gotten home, ever, probably one of the more rediculous dances, and the most ringing in my ears after.
too bad the boys didnt spend the night. Dad wasn't here when i got home, go figure cruel cruel world.
snakes/parades not cool... but i popped it.
Music: sing for absolution - muse
Today is: thursday. right before friday. yessss...
so apparently, you are supposed to bold all of the things that are true about you. because this survey thing was so guaytarded (pronounced GW-AYE-TAR-DED) that i had to put little commentary in italics, just for YOU.
001. I miss somebody right now. 002. I watch more tv than I used to. (Actually, I watch LESS TV than i used to.) 003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping (although at times if i sleep too much, i feel like im wasting my life.) 005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games. (NERRRRD ALERT!) 008. I've done something illegal. 009. I've watched porn movies. (So this one time... long story.) 010. I have been in a threesome.(Getting specific, it wasn't really a threesome... it was more like a triple-kiss... ahhhhhhhhhh. this is bad.) 011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.(Where have you been the last 5 months?) 012. I like my handwriting. 013. I have acne-free skin. (i generally have pretty clear skin. bwahaha.) 014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently. (Not frequently... i'd say occasionally.. or whenever lesley provokes it ;) 016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. 017. I have a hobby. They are called boys. 018. I've been to another country. 019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really, really smart. FUNNY. 021. I've never broken anyone else's bones. 022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.(but why bring that up here?!) 023. I love rain. why do you think im moving to cali? 024. I'm paranoid at times. anyone seen me late at night? 025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.IN A MINUTE. 026. I need money right now. 027. I love sushi although it seems like everyone does... 028. I talk really really fast sometimes. duh. 029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair. 031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother or sister. 033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs. you should too... 035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without caller id. i can, but i like it. 038. I like the way that I look.sometimes. 039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.HAPPENS! 040. I know how to do cornrows. HAHAHAHHA - is that so you can call me so i can do them for your next basketball game or something? wierd. 041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings. 043. I think prostitution should be legalized and there is nothing wrong with it.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.when she is airbrushed out of her mind. 045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.theres this thing i can do with my tongue... 047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I've been sexually intimate with less than 10 people. 049. I am currently single. and looking. 050. I have kissed someone of the same sex. HAPPENS 051. I enjoy talking on the phone. 052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.i will be a personal shopper until i am famous... 054. I would rather shop than eat. true story, then i can fit in the skinny clothes. 055. I would classify myself as ghetto.BWAHAHAHHA. i couldnt resist. 056. I'm bourgeoisie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my diary! as in my boobs? 058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer. back that thang up. the roca way. 060. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone. "'call me's, 'page me's, 'ill talk to you later's..." 063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before. i'm so freakin young to consider them REAL relationships. 068. I've been rejected before. 069. I currently have a crush on someone. ooooops. 070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. 071. I want to have children in the future.uh, one day? 072. I have changed a diaper before. 073. I've had the cops called on me before.three words: "pillow fight club" 074. I bite my nails. when im stressed. 075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything deadly. 077. I have a lot to learn. 078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie. dayam this must be old! 080. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message. thanks to wirelessbwahaha, i am retarded. 082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have been rejected by someone. 084. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.try: "everyone's but lesley's." 085. I own the "South Park" movie.
086. I have avoided work to play on OD.
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.sometimes, it really depends on what it is. 089. I love my best friend(s).BUNNY! 090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and sometimes a perfectionist. heyohhh! 093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome.because according to that church survey, im a goth! 097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
098. I have dated a close friend's ex. not lesley's. 099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. Had a crush on somebody you have never met. WEIRD. 102. I've kissed someone i've known i shouldn't. no comment. 103. I play a musical instrument. 104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating from something right now.
106. I own and use a library card. 107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love." 108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest movies/books ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the tv show "The O.C."
111. I am resentful that I had to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.at least i think so... 113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think ramen is one of the best foods in the whole world.
115. I am suffering of a broken heart.happens. 116. I am a nerd. 117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I try not to change who i am for someone.
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I have had sex with someone I was not in a relationship with.
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have had major surgery. everyone knows that "you" have "minor surgery" and "they" had "major surgery." so no, i have not had "major" surgery, i have had "minor" surgery. now you know. 124. I have adopted a pet from the SPCA.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now. WEIRD. STREET SPIRIT! 126. Some people call me by a nickname. 127. I once stole a music stand.
128. I like pumpkin pie.
129. I love Nascar!
130. I own over 200 cds. easily. 131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind. 133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.hehehehheheeh. 134. I'm still in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.like in corvallis? true story. 136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong guys, or have them fall for me, so I can't help but reciprocate.
137. I'll try anything three times.
138. Done drugs other than alcohol or cannabis.hahahahhahaha oh man. 139. I'm having trouble sleeping.
140. I am a cuddler. 141. I love John Waters films.
142. I have made a pornographic videotape.this one time, at french camp... ohhhh no i didnt. big jk. 143. Sloth is my favorite deadly sin.
144. One of my boobs is bigger than the other.i'm sorry, i had to highlight it so that you wouldnt miss it on this survey. i dont think they are, but my god, why is this HERE? 145. I know all the words to the "Firefly" theme song.
146. I love Dr. Pepper 147. I'm a programmer.
148. I can't explain why i am unhappy at times. this is supposed to continue with "so i make excuses..." 149. I own and have read all the harry potter books.
151. I carry a book almost everywhere i go.
152. I have an eating disorder.
153. I have flown to a different country to see a band.
154. Been hospitalized for "mental issues".
155. I have survived totaling a car I was driving.
156. I am addicted to a Manga/anime.
157. Somehow I always seem to get myself into trouble
158. I have dated someone for longer than 5 years
159. I love CSI! 160. Eric Szmanda is hot! who the hell? 161. I love Ani Difranco. If i had heard that whiny bitch for one more hour, i would have slit my wrists, carved "good charlotte" into a plugged-in toaster, and jumped into a swimming pool. 162. I have hair that grows in the wrong places; in my opinion.EW. 163. I hate it when dogs lick me.
164. I only sing when I'm alone. sing loudly, at least. 165. one of my best friends is gay.