Mood: Scratchy. Music: Daft and Evil - Interpol Color: Ugly Today is: the morning after
I am beginning to notice i have a fairly high tolerance for pain. I was thinking that if, say, my little brother had as many copamarcocas bruises as i do or had pulled a muscle in his butt while bowling that he would complain much more. Same for most of my guy friends. I don't know, maybe i'm preparing for the pain of childbirth, or extreme college stress, which, of course, i am definately looking forward to. I love the pressure. I love the rush. I like the chaos. I thrive off the chaos, regardless of how much i say i hate it, which i do. Okay, that didn't make sense, I hate the chaos and the pressure and the crazy, but thats just part of me and i guess i am coming to accept it. I am accepting the fact i make terribly rash decisions without completely thinking them through. I am accepting the fact that not everybody likes me and theres nothing i can do about it. I am accepting the fact that as many times i have listened to this song, i am yet to get sick of it.
My mom had a really valid point yesterday: WHEN i'm rich and famous, people are going to write things about me in the tabloids... all the time. I'll have to be really thick skinned and get over it. I mean, but you hear celebrities: it hurts their feelings even if its not true. I guess I'll just have to keep doing things the same way: making rash decisions, being loud and obnoxious, and enjoying my life.
I wish i had more time to play video games. Instead, i'm impatienly awaiting the email that lesley will be sending me with my biology homework. bwahaha. i did it, but i can tell i'll like hers better.
I'm feeling frustrated now. I'm not sure if its because i haven't seen my shrink in a week, or because i have a popamarcocas bruise (dont ask) or pulled my butt muscle, or because i'm sick and tired, emotionally and physically.